Let me start off by saying I am in no way advocating for laziness, not trying, or being content in your comfort zone. What I am advocating for is loving yourself and your life, loving the people in your life, and leaving the things that are not that important in the grand scheme of things where they belong. I am a mostly mediocre mom and a mostly mediocre adult. And that is ok. Truly, most people are not exceptional in most areas of their lives. And no one is exceptional in all areas of their lives. Apart from Jesus, certainly, no one is or has been perfect.
People today, and moms especially, put pressure on themselves to be the best. Whether that means making the best Pinterest-worthy birthday invitations for their 3-year-old's birthday party or feeling defeated when they don't finish a race in the time they had hoped for, we all have things that we berate ourselves for not doing better. In some instances, being disappointed with our results leads to improvement. It's when that self-deprecation and berating depletes one's self-worth that it is harmful, not beneficial.
I am in school finishing my degree. Is it easy with three kids at home, a husband who is out of town a lot, and up until last month a small business to run? Nope. But I put every effort I have available into doing the best that I am able to do in regards to my school. Sometimes, that means I write an awesome paper that I'm super proud of (like my paper comparing the Russian and American political systems last semester). Sometimes, that means I get a B in a course instead of an A (like my microeconomics class last semester in which I totally failed the midterm). I can only give the best that I have available at the time it is required. If my kids need more of my time during a week that I have a big project in school due, my kids get what they need and I give what is left to my schoolwork. And that's enough.
Was there a time that I tried to do everything myself in regards to being the craftiest, most involved mom? Yep. I made birthday invitations by hand, decorated the party with elaborate decorations, coordinated and planned games and goodie bags and food. This year, we had one birthday party at an ice-skating rink in which the extra time was filled with 20 preteen girls taking selfies with photo-booth paper props I purchased from a going-out-of-business party store two days before the party. We had a party at a trampoline park in which I did such a poor job planning I was ordering pizza on my cell phone from the party while the kids were jumping just so they would have something to eat when they were done and thanking God I had not managed to take the groceries in from the back of the van yet so there was a case of bottled water they could drink. Did all the kids (including my own) at both parties have a great time? Yep. Did anyone care that there were no Pinterest-worthy decorations or coordinated food or prizes or goodie bags? Of course not. I planned mediocre parties that were fun for the kids and less stressful for me.
Am I an amazing runner? Nope, I'm a mediocre runner. I start a race in the middle of the pack and I end the race in the middle of the pack. Do I have goals for improvement, a plan that will help me get that faster time, and a desire to be better? Of course, but those goals will still leave me in the middle of the pack. While improving myself and competing against my own times, I will still be a mediocre runner. And that's ok too. I'm teaching my kids through example that exercise and sports are fun and healthy, but being the best you can be may not always mean being the best in the field.
Did the kids and I have a 10-minute dance party in the kitchen after dinner one night this week? Yes we did. Could we have done it for longer? Sure, but we also could have not done it at all. I'm a mediocre mom. My kids know they are loved. They know that they are what's most important in my life. But they also know that there are other things that are important as well. I don't dote on them, I don't do everything for them, and I don't always put their desires first. Needs, yes, but not their desires. Some days I cut up fresh fruit and make them an awesome after-school snack. Some days I give them Lucky Charms out of the box without milk and call it good. Lots of days we sit down as a family for a homemade dinner and conversation. Other days we eat Happy Meals in the car while I'm yelling about one kid forgetting her violin at school and one kid not remembering their lanyard for ice skating lessons. I'm a mediocre mom. I'm average. I try my best, but my best is not always the best. And that's ok.
We don't have to be the best at everything. My kids are learning that it is ok to not be the best as long as they try their best. Do I expect all As from them on their schoolwork? No, but I expect them to do the best they can do. If that puts them at an average, mediocre level, then that's ok. As long as they did the best they could do at the time it was required of them. And that's all I can do too.
So hopefully that helps to explain what I mean by mediocrity and why it's ok for us as moms, and us as people, to be ok with being mediocre. There are moments of exceptionalism in everyone's life, but those exceptional moments are surrounded by many more moments that are mundane and mediocre. And with that, my day yesterday was entirely mundane and mediocre (hopefully someday I will have one of those exceptional moments to write about...).
My upstairs loft often looks like this:
Clean laundry. Three kids, two parents, workout clothes, work clothes, and so many towels and you're left with laundry that just piles up if it's not done every day. That was probably three days of not folding the clean loads of laundry. So I finally got it done. I sort it all, fold and put away mine, the littlest girl's, and the towels and sheets. The husband's and two biggest kids' clothes stay in piles until they get around to putting it away themselves. Two of those three piles are still in the loft.
Then I had another breakfast salad, which was even better with cucumber and tomatoes this time.
And are those not the cutest salt and pepper shakers!? I picked them up in an airport in Germany years ago.
My run yesterday was entirely mediocre.
It was the slowest three miles I've run in months and months. But it was what I had to give yesterday. My legs were killing me from the gym the day before and I'm fighting a cold. There was a time I would have been so angry with myself. My last mile was over ten minutes long. I haven't ran a 10+ minute mile since last summer, even on a slow run day. Even during a half marathon. But whatever. It's what I had in me to do yesterday. I could have just stayed home. At least I got it done.
And speaking of that cold, I'm doubling up on my Greens:
and doubling up on my clementines:
Between the kids and me, we go through one of these bags every 2-3 days. It's so sad when clementine season ends. Walmart was out of them a couple days ago, so I bought a bag of blood oranges instead.
Not nearly as good as the ones we used to eat when we lived in Italy. So happy they restocked the clementines yesterday.
So now I'm ready for another less-than-exceptional day with another likely to be mediocre run, some house cleaning, and some swim lessons tonight.
Have you heard of it? I used to cut coupons for grocery shopping, but I just don't anymore. Whether I don't have time or I'm lazy or I just don't feel like it even if I do manage to tear a coupon out, the chances of me remembering to use it before it expires are slim to none. So I do my grocery shopping at Walmart Neighborhood Market and at the very least I use their SavingsCatcher to get the lowest prices. Ibotta, though, is like cutting coupons without having to actually cut anything or take anything with you to the store. You just scroll through, choose which things you are going to buy (everything from produce to dairy products to name-brand groceries), and then once you have bought them you go back into the app and mark them and scan your receipt. Once you have $20-$25 in your ibotta account you can order a gift card or have it deposited to your paypal account. I'm currently at $17 and can't wait to get some free money!
